How do I deal with my mentally and emotionally abusive mother?

Your mom is mentally unstable. She should speak to a therapist. You and your boyfriend should sit down with your mom and speak to her as politely as you can. Say "Mom I don't like the way you are treating us. We do all of the house work by our selves and you have no respect for us. Why do you have to be so mean?" Just sit down and talk.